Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Clearly Unemployed

Yuppie: I don't think he's working now. All he ever talks about is monkeys and robots.

--midtown

At Least You'll Double Your Income.

Frantic Chick: Where's my bag? All my clothes were in there. Oh God, I have to dress like a whore for the next two weeks!

--K & 21st

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

A collection of unexpected photography.

File Magazine: I love how this website describes itself: "FILE magazine is not a photoblog, photo challenge/contest, or group photo album. We leave the Kodak Moments to the family album, the glossy fashion spreads to Vogue, and the photo finishes to ESPN."
FILE combs the world to curate online galleries of the most unexpected imagery out there.

Monday, August 27, 2007

I'm your puppet


I have enough trouble eating as it is, so why designers Stefano Merlo and Claudia Taddia would want to make it harder is a mystery to me. They have designed a table (now to be known as the table that made me kill my girlfriend) that has each setting (glass, fork, knife, etc) tethered to its match on the opposite side of the table. So if you're using your knife, your dining partner cannot. This is absolutely brilliant. I can see it now. "Honey, I swear to god you better put down that knife right now so I can stab you."

Read Article Here

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Habitat :: Olle Lundberg


Home is the habitat. It's where we house our inspiration, safety and comfort. We look forward to the day when we can design our home from top to bottom. We're thinking about amazing locations, shapes, colors and textures all day. Imagine a place that you can truly get lost. Chances are your vision won't be too far off of Olle's design and architecture.

As reported by Apartment Therapy: "When we think about escapes, we think of Olle. Olle Lundberg, the remarkable architect, salvage junkie and erstwhile Ikea designer, not only lives on a ferry boat in San Francisco harbor, he has a cabin up north (Cazadero, Calif.) that we'd die for. Below are more pics of the woody, simple, airy and largely reused environment he's created for relaxing when not working with head cases like Larry Ellison..."

Pantone Coffee Magic


Suck UK is at it again, this time bringing us MyCuppa Mugs that have a coloring guide on the inside rim to ensure the proper ratio of coffee/tea to milk. They cost about $15, and are a must if you are as coffee challenged as I am.

Read the entire article here.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Mix-Tape Memories


If you have ever lived, then you know what it is like to listen to the radio with your finger on the record button waiting for your request to come on so you can make the most awesome mix tape ever for your middle school boyfriend. Well Suck UK, the company that has a fascination with both cardboard and retro is dropping a USB drive inside a fake cassette tape to bring back the memories. It even has the track listing area to fill out. Seeing this really took me back to 7th grade. One minute I'm recording "I Will Love You Forever" and the next it's "I Hate You and Want to Throw Myself from the Top of the Jungle Gym and Die". Ah, love.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

No quarters required.

What do you do when you're a passionate journalist with a little too much time on your hands? Well, blog, for one, or build this. It makes me feel better about my DIY project obsession.

Catchy Tunes

Just Gay Enough

Woman #1: So, I heard you broke up with your fiancé. What happened?
Woman #2: Well, it turns out he was gay.
Woman #1: Oh, I am so sorry. Did you have any idea?
Woman #2: Yeah, I thought he was gay when I met him, but then we had sex and I thought, Well, if he can have sex with me, he can't be that gay...

--midtown

Please Hold...

Thugette on cell: I ain't tryin' to hear that! You know how I know you lyin'? 'Cause I just heard it say 'Stand by while your call is connected.' You know what that means? That means you in jail, nigga. Don't give me no shit that you're in L.A. for the week.

--N & 24th

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Show your pride with the gay-board!



Your regular keyboard just not ridiculous enough? Then get the Luxeed Rainbow Keyboard. Each key can be programmed to be a different color as well as only light up when you press it. Because really, isn't the whole point of a keyboard to let everybody know you're gay and also give you seizures? No? It's not? Hold on, I gotta go make some calls.

The Tuesday Mixer

Just in case.



The Kelsey-Hayes Company in Detroit, MI produced this brochure for their pre-fabricated fallout shelters. SyndProd scanned it and put it on Flickr for the enjoyment of the human race.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Vice Mag's DO of the day…


Just when you thought the summer couldn’t get any hotter, the Mayor of Margaritaville and the President of Pussy Eating show up and invite you to a joint-rolling contest.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Real Dolls part deux



Real dolls, the invasion.

Lars and the Real Girl, written by Six Feet Under scribe Nancy Oliver, stars Ryan Gosling as a lonely, awkward man turned delusional freak when he purchases a sex doll and he starts acting like she's real. Gosling, at his creepiest. Maybe he should hook up with Amber and make a sequel.

Nothing Says I Love You Like...


You may have already seen this because you're much hipper than I am, but you're not more attractive. I bow to no one in the good looks department., except perhaps my girlfriend. Anyways, someone has developed a technology that allows hidden messages to be printed on shirts, and only show up through a digital camera. According to the company,

Kameraflage is possible because digital cameras see a broader spectrum of light than human eyes. By rendering content in these wavelengths we are able to create displays that are invisible to the naked eye, yet can be seen when imaged with a digital camera.

So basically you can now wear a t-shirt with dirty words on it that will only be visible when someone takes a digital picture of you. Which is pretty brilliant - or so I thought. Let's just say my grandparents were less than impressed with the Kameraflage "Fuck this Family" t-shirt I mistakenly wore in our annual Christmas card photo.

Kameraflouge Site

Any plans friday?

Woman on cell: There's only one word for this party. And it is "epic."

--17th & K

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Russian Tetris


This is a video of Russian students running around their dorm rooms switching lights on and off to simulate a game of Tetris. It's probably fake, but I'm really hoping it's not. Although it 100% is. Fake that is. I mean, look at it. I'd believe Jurassic Park was real before this.

Ron Mueck installation


This is a great Flickr gallery of artist Ron Mueck installing his new exhibition at the Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth. His work will be on display there through October 21. And if you can't tell from the picture above, this guy's stuff is amazing. It's the sort of art that makes you actually want to visit a museum; and I don't mean just to impress your girlfriend.

Flickr Gallery

Piss to Start


The Piss-Screen is a pressure-sensitive inlay for urinals that lets you play a game with your pee. It was designed for bars so people would take a taxi instead of driving home drunk. The game is modeled after Need for Speed so that people end up crashing if their reaction is too slow. After crashing, the game flashes the message: "Too pissed to drive? Take a Taxi instead!” Although if they really want to keep people from driving drunk, they should've invested in my idea: it's a toilet that measures your blood alcohol level, and if it's too high, a fist flies out of the wall and knocks you out. And then a midget comes by and takes your wallet. Everybody wins!

The Official Site.

Japan knows how to wrap


No paper, no plastic, bring your own containers by learning to fold wrapping cloth to carry just about anything. When you are done, unlike traditional bags, you can fold it up with a small footprint. One simple step to reduce waste and combat global warming. View full article here.



Tuesday, August 7, 2007

FYI


Best Tofu, Though.

Whiny girl: Oh my god, that chicken is terrible!
Hipster chick: That's because it's tofu.
Whiny girl: Yeah, worst chicken ever.

--22 & J

Monday, August 6, 2007

Real Love with a Real Doll

Video and performance artist Amber Hawk Swanson ordered a life-sized, realistic sex doll made to look just like her, and named it Amber. The couple scampered off to Vegas and got married. "Their wedding video and other footage documenting their relationship will screen for the public this week," reports the Chicago Reader.

I was born yesterday



Hipster #1
: Have you ever seen an actual 8-track?

Hipster #2: Yes, I've seen one--but I've never seen a movie on one.

-- Noah's Bagels

Those Wacky Metrosexuals

Girl #1: We were late 'cause he was looking at himself. Just looking at himself. I go in, and he's checking himself in the mirror, making faces, and I get all mad at him, and he's like, 'What?!'
Girl #2: He must be really into himself. Men don't do that.
Girl #1: He is good-looking, though.

--J & 19th

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Oh, NO she didn't!



Chick #1: Ahh! Why am I, like, sweating?
Chick #2: What is your shirt made of, cotton?
Chick #1: Well, it's from Forever 21, so it's probably dead Chinese children.

--23rd & N

Can You Explain It to Me Using a Baseball Metaphor?

Chick #1: Ugh, he totally meatballed me.
Chick #2: I hate that.

--The Depot (20th & K)

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Sac Neon

Born again...saved again.

God Squad lady: Praise Jesus! You won't be saved without Jesus! You have to start believing in Jesus to be saved! Jesus will always be there for you!
Suit #1: Would it be so awful if we pushed her when the train came?
Suit #2: No. Jesus will save her.

--Lightrail Station

Wednesday One-Liners Need the Cliffs Notes

Teenage Boy: I had to read Grapes of Wrath. Which, by the way, has no grapes! Pissed me off!

--Lightrail Station

That's because she was carried...

Girl, wearing men's boxer shorts and sweatshirt, on cell: It was so awkward walking out of his room this morning...because I didn't remember walking in!

--Freeport Bakery

Thursday, July 26, 2007

That's not the Crocker.

While browsing the local blog "Living in Urban Sac" , I was informed that the Crocker art museum has broken ground today. The newer and improved version of the museum will boast a new wing, designed by Gwathmey Siegel & Associates Architects of New York, that is approximately 125,000 square feet and will more than triple the size of the current facility, adding four times the space for traveling exhibitions and three times the space for permanent collection exhibitions. The expansion will also provide dedicated programming space, including an education center and auditorium; onsite collections care including secure art storage and a conservation lab; a loading dock and freight elevator for easier art handling; a café; and an additional 7,000-square-foot courtyard.




But I love Agent Ribbons...

Just when I thought no one appreciated Saul Bass' Fuller Paint Bars on 16 & Q, I find this.

I Have Standards -- I Just Don't Know What They Are

Blonde to friend: You know that guy I was going out with? He told me he was going out with me because he liked blondes, and I thought, 'I'm not a blonde,' but then I remembered I was... But that's not a good enough reason to go out with me.

--Crepeville

But I Loved "Pee-wee's Big Adventure"

Young mother to five-year-old daughter: Morgan! Come here! Do you remember that film we watched about perverts? Now hold my hand!

--Outside A&P Market

Usually before Naming Them

Boyfriend: I can't believe you weren't there for me when I had to put my dog to sleep!
Girlfriend: I'm sorry, honey. Where I come from, we eat our pets.


-- 24th & P

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Urban Typography

Vice Mag's Don't Of the Day



It’s OK to not be into fashion but why do you have to be so heavily into not-fashion? You’re like the Karl Lagerfeld of shittiness.

He knows his Christina

Young gay man: I don't want to sound cheesey, but to Christina, I'm a little bit stronger
Young straight girl: I think that's Britney.
Young gay man: No, you're wrong, that's Christina.

-- Midtown

Men Are Simple Creatures and Easily Swayed

Middle-aged lady #1: Ewww, she's not even sexy.
Middle-aged lady #2: Well, she's engaged, so someone must find her sexy.
Middle-aged man: That's probably because she has fake boobs.


--21st & K

Well, Do You Have a Gerbil and a Teeny Tiny Miner's Hat?

Guy on cell, sighing: What are you gonna do, y'know? I mean, besides putting a flashlight in your vagina... Too bad.


--19th & J